You guys I won Videogum this week!
There is a woman coughing into the coin slot of the washing machine at the laundromat. I would tell her that this isn’t how they work, but she’s wearing a Bluetooth so she’s probably in the middle of a high-power business conversation. Weird, though, her executive briefcase looks a lot like a garbage bag.
I will feel like I can’t wait another minute for 5:00 to come, but when it rolls around I find myself waiting an extra twenty minutes to finish whatever album I’m listening to (Car Wheels…) while I sing along extra-loud.
2 Kool 2 Be 4-Gotten!
I came to a four-way stop across from a couple of bike cops, who made the most exaggerated display of obeying the law— full stop, both brakes, foot down, the full routine— in an effort to get me to do the same. Then, as we crossed paths, one of them stared at me with the most demented grin and I couldn’t help but notice her HOLOGRAPHIC PEACE SIGN SUNGLASSES. I can’t describe how confusing and scary this moment was. Thinking about it now, I’m pretty sure I saw the devil today.
- James: music on hold was acoustic guitar version of Cranberries "Dreams." it was excellent
- me: i think you can ask them to extend your hold time if you want
- James: i did
- me: they probably get that a lot
- James: actually, i think it was a sign, they picked up right when the song finished. it's meant to make you feel better before they talk to you
- me: in their training they are taught to let the song finish. they can be fired if they put you on too early
- James: customer satisfaction is their number one priority
- me: right after hold-song-selection, which is their number zero priority
Sir Martin Rees, British Astronomer Royal and Master of Trinity College, Cambridge
Ugh, why can’t retardedly unfunny “pranks” like this just stay in New York? Keep your performance art to yourselves, assholes (literally).